Above and over the calendar...

Time passes by like a breeze... one moment you feel its coming and then suddenly, it has passed you by.

On Nov. 29 2007, I am 32.

At 32, I have 4 kids. One failed marriage, and another failed relationship in the making.

I don't know... I guess I do not deserve to have a happy intact family. My mom and pop separated when I was seven, my first marriage ended a years back and now my current flame is going agog over her first love in high school.

Gimme a fucking break!!!

Maybe I deserve to be alone. I deserve to just work, earn money, give money for the kids... and then die a lonely man.

I am tired.. I am so tired... to say the least.

For the first time in my life... I feel so old. Oh maybe... maybe... I am not worthy.

I don't know, everything for me right now is up for grabs.

Hail Mary save my ass for I am now harvesting the karma of my sins.

Amen.

Far, far away...

Two days ago, I received an email which I thought was spam for its subject is in bold letters and it reads "URGENT JOB HIRING".

It turns out that it came from a colleague who is now based in ARAMCO in Saudi Arabia. He's inviting me to send my resume for he felt that I may be an asset to their company.

I am flattered to say least. I am excited. Dave is going abroad.

There was a time long ago I said to myself "I will never go abroad"... but those were the idealistic times of the past.

Although I love my work here in Paniqui, Tarlac.. I hate my salary. Honestly, it can't support my kids. I want to be there for my kids.. for all of them. If I can't be physically there, maybe I could do best via financial support... because for now... I can't aptly provide.

Oh well, KSA here I come! But then, I hope I am qualified and they will be interested of me.

"Mahirap pero kailangan kong maghirap para sumarap naman buhay ng mga anak ko."

**Me crosses fingers**